"Break the rules," she says. "Don't do things because you feel obliged to do them, but because you want to do them." In other words, don't force a special family dinner with your mate and children because you think you should; try something spontaneous when you're in the mood. For example, Hecht-Kugelmass suggests pulling out a board game or cards if the mood strikes.
"I think when it comes to parenting, many people are very activity-oriented," she says, pointing to the hockey games, skating lessons, play dates and other scheduled appointments that fill up a weekly family calendar. Just for the month of January, she says, "I think it would be great not to do all those things for a while."
Overall, what Hecht-Kugelmass is suggesting is you "enjoy your life outside of the structure you've developed for yourself." She says it's very freeing — cathartic, in fact. To begin with, you won't feel obliged to drive your children around to all their appointments. On top of that, you, your partner and your children won't feel obliged to have “quality time” together. Suddenly — and surprisingly — you'll experience free time. And, you'll have all the time in the world to simply enjoy each other's company.
