Know Where Your Child Is Developmentally
At this age, it’s natural for young people to pull away from their parents and seek to define life on their own terms. That’s why it’s important to remain open, withhold judgment and provide a nonthreatening place for your teen to share feelings and ask questions. Controlling behaviour can lead to power struggles and alienation.
Establish Ground Rules
Although they are becoming more independent, kids still need limits. Just as when your child was younger, limits supply both safety and comfort. The difference is that at the dating stage, your teenager should be included in the discussion about the ground rules for dating. Some rules will be non-negotiable, but others should be initiated by your child. Be ready for reasonable compromise on issues such as curfews, for example, to give your child ownership of the rules.
Employ a Little Psychology
If — OK, when — infractions occur, deflect the blame for consequences from you to "the rules." That way, you’ll be less likely to be the stern parent with the full brunt of anger directed at you. Remember, your child helped establish those rules, so both of you should share responsibility for them.
Stay Involved
This can be tricky, because your teen is struggling for independence. Encourage your teen to invite his or her date over so you can get to know this new interest, and observe how the relationship is working.
Don’t Forget to Trust
Remember: The values you have given your children are with them even when they’re away from you. Help them to be confident in their own judgment, and have the courage to trust them — they’ll usually work to prove you right!
